And Then There Was One
by 2Sexy4theDragons
Summary: A good portion of the YuGiOh cast is forced to undergo the joy that is sex education. References to couples of every type, more than likely, so if something bothers you, just don't read it.


**And Then There Was One**  
written by 2Sexy4TheDragons (Nevi & Korii)  
_or the education of minors on not so minor topics_

**Disclaimer: **We fail at life. And don't own Yuugiou.  
**Author's Note: **More or less, this story is the product of throwing Korii in 'Sex Ed' and Nevi… Well, Nevi likes bananas. :D;  
**Warnings: **Stereotypes, sexual references, talk about sex, references to any type of pairing imaginable (yaoi, yuri, or heterosexual; we're all equal opportunity here!), Nevi's severe love of parentheses, language, switching between Yami no Malik and Mariku, Yami no Bakura and Bakura, and Yami no Yuugi and Yami (x3 I change names ridiculously often. Deal with it).

Day One  
Or The Ridiculously Pointless Survey They Always Force Upon Unsuspecting Students

Malik shifted nervously in his school uniform, tugging lightly at the collar (such uncomfortable outfits: the sleeves far too tight and clingy; not to mention the neckline and how it scratched against his flesh). To his left sat nervous Ryou, tugging idly at a strand of his silver hair, brown eyes occasionally darting past Malik to his darker half (who had apparently spent lunch in the classroom and was now fast asleep, face buried into what Ryou hoped was a school book and not something of another assortment). For the most part, the classroom was still empty, various students filing in (the majority of which were in groups of two or three) after having finished their lunch break.

It took a good five minutes before the rest of the students had returned, followed by a boisterous woman, who looked to be in her mid-twenties (no doubt a reformed sexaholic who'd seen the "error of her ways" and wanted to prevent teenagers from making the "same mistakes"). She slinked to the front of the classroom, barely able to peer over the podium. As the students took their seats, she cleared her throat, announcing in a loud voice, "I am Ishikawa-sensei, and for the next week and a half, I will be your instructor for sexual education."

A collective groan emitted from the class, a few students impatiently slamming their palms onto the desk ("We need to be educated about sex?" "Damnit, we're _seniors_ already, what's the point of this?" "I don't want to hear this from someone whose never fucked a guy in her life!"), as well as a few hiding their faces in shame (or in some cases, pure embarrassment).

"We will begin our time together by conducting a survey." A quick glance back to the teacher's desk assured Ishikawa-sensei that the surveys had indeed been put where they were supposed to have been. Her gaze returned to the podium, eyeing the class roster. "Honda-san, Matsuda-san, would you please pass out the surveys?"

With a grunt, Honda crawled from his seat, a short-haired female behind him quickly following. The two collected the papers, dividing them in half (Honda quickly hurrying to the right, wanting if at all possible to avoid delivering papers to either the dark Bakura or Malik). It didn't take long (especially with Honda rushing quickly past Yami no Malik's desk, practically flinging the paper to him) and each happy student had a paper. The class representatives took their seats and the teacher continued, "The survey is completely anonymous, so please answer honestly."

And so they began (Malik prodding Yami no Bakura, in attempts to wake him up; with a growl, the thief king stirred, brown eyes falling onto the paper, "Are you a virgin? What the fuck is this?", followed by a quick snicker from Malik, the blonde Egyptian shaking his head and explaining, "Just answer it."). The room was alive with hushed whispers, despite the constant urgings Ishikawa to 'please be quiet, this survey was a private matter'.

It was a typical survey, entirely too personal for the majority of the population to take seriously. For example, the first question, a nosy, 'What ethnicity would you consider yourself?'. Being in Japan, the question seemed pointless (save for, of course, Malik who gave a discontent mumble and Yami no Malik who didn't entirely know what he 'considered' himself). About three or four questions in came the one the dark Bakura had commented upon earlier, which received more than one nervous shift in the crowd. Anonymous, sure, but who was looking over their shoulders?

No one seemed to have any problems but dear Ryou who was sweating nervously, biting at his lip until he tasted a drop of blood (that really _was_ a nasty habit, he needed to stop) and giving a small 'eep'. He glanced over to Malik, poking the other with his pencil's eraser. After receiving a rather harsh, "What?" he sighed and shifted. "Can you ask Bakura a question for me?"

Malik frowned, but felt no reason to turn the other down. "Fine, what is it?"

"Am I a virgin?"

Malik couldn't help but snort. "_You don't know?_" His question was a bit more loud than intended, receiving a few glances from surrounding classmates. Ryou only blushed and shook his head, pleading eyes on Malik. With a grunt, Malik turned to Bakura, leaning over and whispering into the other's ear (not to mention, licking the rim slightly – just a tease).

Bakura gave a barking laugh. "Where were you during the Battle City tournament, host?"

Ryou winced, muttering a bitter, "Unconscious, no thanks to you."

A shrug and Bakura sighed; true enough. "Fine, no."

This seemed to lower Ryou's spirits considerably. No? His pencil cracked against the desk and he stood up, shooting a dark glare (not one typically seen from the 'innocent' light). "May I be excused for a moment?"

Ishikawa blinked, a bit confused by the sudden outburst and then narrowed her eyes. "Please finish the—"

"No, I _will_ be excused." With that said, the normally timid Ryou left the room with a huff, a few students glancing in Bakura's direction (what did he say to him, anyway?). This left one aggravated teacher, but she said nothing (at least, not for the moment). Malik only raised an eyebrow before returning to his survey (where as normally he might go after Ryou to help the poor boy, he decided that since he knew exactly when Ryou's 'first time' had occurred, not to mention where and how, it was best that the job was left to someone else).

Luckily, a flustered Yuugi (who more or less simply wanted to avoid the survey) went to Ryou's aid, after of course, quietly explaining that his friend just _had_ to be upset over something ("Ryou-kun never acts like this, you see…") and that someone needed to check on him. The classroom was quiet for a while, possibly either in shock over the earlier disruption or two enthralled in the survey, for one reason or another.

The silence was broken by Malik, who grunted in distaste, "And just _how_ am I supposed to remember the last time I 'had an alcoholic beverage'? If I'm 'having an alcoholic beverage', usually I'm too drunk to even realize I've had one, much less recall it the next morning." With a sigh, he glanced to Bakura who simply smirked in response (a cocky smirk, too, that smug bastard).

From across the room, Yami no Yuugi narrowed his eyes, trying intently to focus on the paper and not the conversation between the _other_ two (and of course, the fact that his poor lighter half was out there in that hallway, all alone…). He felt a slight jabbing pain in his side, an after a few moments, finally gave up and glanced over, a disgusted scoff emitting from his lips. "Mariku, leave me be."

The more psychotic of the two gave a small chuckle, retracting his pencil from the former pharaoh's side. "Oh, did the high-and-mighty not like the feel of my pencil jabbing into his side?" Behind him, Anzu held in an amused chuckle (oh, sure, Yami no Malik was a hideous creature, but wording it like _that_ and in this current situation…).

"No, I did not." Yami no Yuugi remained calm, returning to his intent focus, casually filling in the bubbles.

Bored already, Mariku simply let his tongue roll across his lips then along his cheek, obviously enjoying the taste of his own flesh. The rest of the class, not wanting to disturb the precious darkness, left him alone, though Ishikawa gave him an odd look, eyebrow raised (out of all her years of teaching this program never had she seen one of her students so joyfully lick their own face – not to mention the skill involv-- not thoughts she should be thinking).

Another few moments of silence and the peace was shattered by Yami no Bakura, who was quickly joined by Otogi, both laughing loudly. Otogi was the one to read the first question aloud, "If your boyfriend or girlfriend was pressuring you into sexual intercourse, would you be able to break up with them?" Twirling his hair, he added, "Pressuring? I do hope you know you're giving this survey to a group of high school males – there's not much pressure involved."

Bakura continued to the next, "Would you ever put yourself in a position where you were pressured to have sex?" Raising an eyebrow, he coyly inquired, "Just what do you consider a situation where I'd feel pressured to have sex? Do you mean something simple like being 'under the influence' of drugs or alcohol… or something more specific, like your annoying, little boy-toy finally shut up and was crawling on top of yo—"

"I am not annoying," Malik shot back, violet eyes now glaring daggers at Bakura, "nor am I just some 'toy'."

Trying to turn this around, Ishikawa nervously commented, "This sort of situation is exactly why one should abstain—"

"What situation? Malik whining because he doesn't think he's a toy?" He wore a smug smirk, his typical expression. "Malik whines about _everything_. I don't think it matters whether we've had," and he added in a mocking tone, "_sexual intercourse_ or not."

A few chuckles and giggles sounded from the supposedly mature upperclassmen and Ishikawa gave a disgusted sigh. She hadn't been informed that the group was _this_ lively (no matter, she'd simply line up a series of guest speakers to avoid teaching herself).

Malik, still aggravated with Bakura, was about to open his mouth and protest further when an unexpected voice interjected with, "What the _hell_? 'If you were turned on would you be able to resist having sexual intercourse?' Is that even possible? I mean, _damn_, if you want it, you want it…"

It was a very good thing Yuugi had decided to chase after Ryou, after all. All eyes fell on Yami no Yuugi, either blinking and horribly confused or dancing with amusement.

Yami no Malik slowly slid his foot under the bars of Yami's desk, rubbing against his thigh, tongue trailing seductively along his lip. "Let's find out, _pharaoh_."

"… You will never turn me on," Yami snapped, eyes narrowing at Mariku, who only laughed though didn't retreat his foot (oh no, it was going to stay there until he'd completed his task).

"Is that a challenge?" Mariku cooed, voice low (and apparently, he could turn on a 'lustful' tone at will, because hell, he sure did it then).

This was where Ishikawa had to draw the line or she knew she'd lose control of the class completely, "Students, _please_, take your survey or I will not hesitate to send you out into the hall, or if the need arises, to the principal's office."

Mariku rolled his eyes at the woman's idle threat (oh, what did discipline mean to him anyway? It's not as if he could get scolded _outside_ of school), though he seemed for a moment to leave the former pharaoh alone, foot slowly sliding off Yami no Yuugi's leg and hitting the floor with a thump.

More silence (or almost silence as their were a few occasional giggles from the females of the class) and the students seemed to finish the survey one by one. After the final student (excluding Ryou and Yuugi who had yet to return) turned in their survey, Ishikawa gave an exasperated sigh. "Good job." While she tried to conceal the sarcasm (not to mention misery) in her voice, she seemed to fail, nodding her head slightly as black bangs slipped into her eyes. "Tomorrow will begin my presentation. The day after, you will have a guest speaker. The rest of the week will be explained to you tomorrow. Your next teacher will be in here shortly."

With that said, she made her exit, not bothering to give a second thought to the 'safety' of leaving that group alone. After all, they weren't her concern for the rest of the day; instead, the problems of their next teachers and eventually their parents (or guardians) at home.

As she left, it was Anzu who spoke up, "Is… anyone else concerned about Ryou and Yuugi? They've been gone a good hour or so."

End Day One  
Or Poor Ishikawa's Latest Regret

**Parting Note: **Yeah. Well, we hoped you enjoyed it. xD


End file.
